Libra — Bee farming is the new bitcoin. 

Aries — You are a sponge.

Sagittarius — Humblebragging will soothe the soul.

Pisces — Give up.

Scorpio — You will be the third person to develop an allergy to watercolors. 

Taurus — Avoid sponges. 

Leo — Follow Ever Given’s lead and try blocking your toxic ex. 

Capricorn — Avoid gel electrophoresis.

Gemini — Getting a typewriter IS an appropriate substitute for a personality. 

Cancer — Bitcoin is the new bee farming. 

Virgo — Love is a competition, and you’re losing. 

Aquarius — Hanging polaroids in your room is totally original, don’t worry.