As I was biking out of the quad around one on Wednesday, I saw a small accident. Some guy came careening out of the arcade and slammed into the back tire of a girl’s bike as she was legally entering the quad. Fortunately, no one was hurt and there was no damage to either bike, but I see this kind of garbage all too often. The fact is, you’re not supposed to bike in the arcades. If you do, at least you could keep it to a manageable speed and stop before encountering cross traffic. What would compel this idiot to cross traffic without looking from an unexpected angle is beyond me.

Attention all bad bikers on campus: I’m gettin’ real tired of your shit. Now, I’m not going to tell you to wear a helmet or stop at all the stop signs. That’d be impractical. But here’s my less-than-extensive list of how not to be a jackass biker:

1) Go the proper direction in the traffic circles. That means stay to the right. If you’re from Britain, or a select few former colonies, I’ll give you two free passes. Otherwise, keep to the right, especially during high traffic times. It’s hard enough to keep track of the bikers obeying convention without having to account for some moron who wants to save 10 meters on his trips.

2) Did you know that they make lights specifically for your handlebars? Crazy, I know — they’re relatively cheap too! If you value life and limb, get one for nighttime riding. People who ride bikes without lights pose a serious danger due to reduced visibility.

3) We all know that girl, with her earbuds in or cellphone on, meandering at two miles per hour down the center of the lane, showing a complete inability to bike a straight line. Don’t be that girl. The text can wait, as can the call, as can whatever song you’re listening to. Keep yours eyes, ears and mind on what’s happening.

4) Finally, nothing makes me lose the will to live quite like people who bike on sidewalks when there’s a perfectly good road neigh five feet away. I mean, how difficult is it to just ride on the road? Do they somehow feel safer on the sidewalk? Do they enjoy burdening pedestrians?

Quite frankly, I don’t want to know why people do the aforementioned asinine things. I don’t care. All I know is this shit needs to stop.