[Heard in the dorm hallways]

“I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH NOW. I’m going to get mono!”

“Are you under 18? It’s on my checklist.”

Naked Columbae guy in the Claw fountain: “Senior girls get me!”

“I’m Italian and here’s a rose; kiss me?”

Friend to another friend: “Don’t kiss anyone! You are classy. Say it–YOU. ARE. CLASSY.”

Band guy: “Look I have a large trumpet. Wanna make out?”

Dejected male: “She just clearly did not respect my emotions, you know?”

– Natasha Weaser, Edward Ngai