Amid a current R&DE shortage of large plates at most dining halls, one ambitious student entrepreneur decided he had had enough. Max Fonsi ’25 started PlateTape as an innovative solution to a problem too many students face: lack of room for food on small plates.

“With PlateTape, students can securely tape together several smaller plates to form a mega-plate that accommodates significantly more food. We’re basically flex tape for small plates,” Fonsi said.

Regarding traction, Fonsi admitted they had zero paying customers as of the writing of this article. But Fonsi confirmed that “so, so many customers showed interest and said they’d totally pay for it,” including Fonsi’s mom and his fellow fraternity brothers.

Sequoia Capital was impressed, to say the least. In fact, during PlateTape’s VC pitch on Monday, Fonsi secured $2.5 million in seed funding from enthusiastic investors, despite being caught simultaneously playing Angry Birds on his phone.

Fonsi has great aspirations, both short- and long-term, for PlateTape. “We’re looking to expand to different colors like space gray, yellow, midnight, red and turquoise,” he said, regarding his current biggest priorities. “Our main motivation and reason for starting PlateTape is to put profit aside and ensure we can make such a necessity as accessible as possible.”

PlateTape’s product currently sells for $14.99 per inch of tape (tax and delivery cost not included).

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.